Marriage Notes

Just thought I'd share the notes I took from the Marriage Class at Women's Conference. LOVED IT!

Creating a Great Marriage – “Good is the enemy of great” – Sam DiBello
(This isn’t the title of the class, but it was the first thing he said, and I like it. He also said that marriage is profoundly different from anything else and IT DESERVES YOUR ATTENTION! Oh, and one more thing: If you want to die with no regrets, you have to decide WHAT MATTERS MOST and then focus on it. Multi-tasking is not necessarily a good thing. When you focus on too many things at once, nothing is getting your full attention. When you focus on what really matters, you know what to say Yes and No to.)
The Eight “Ates”
1. ANTICIPATE – show you love and care by anticipating a need and surprising them with your support. Suggested assignment: identify a need and surprise them by helping/ contributing. Keep it simple – fill their tank with gas, help plan a lesson, hang up their clothes.
2. APPRECIATE - sweet civility – look for good and compliment them. They will become that. Express gratitude often, even in little things. Suggested assignment: Recall a time in the past when you expressed deep appreciation for something your spouse did and remind them of it, expressing thanks all over again. Then express appreciation for something new. Give them a good kiss!
3. CELEBRATE – play together! We grow old because we forget to play! Create traditions/ events to look forward to. Suggested assignment: make an excuse to celebrate/ play, big or small, give it a name, and set aside the time to do it.
4. COOPERATE – work together. Sacrifice some of your wants and give more of yourself. “Win-Win or No Deal!” It’s not worth it if you win at the expense of them losing. Suggested assignment: Examine your relationship and see if there’s something you’re not on the same page with. Both of you recognize it and find a win-win solution. Option 2: find a project that working on will bring you closer together.
5. ELEVATE – continue growing together, educate, nurture. Suggested assignment: Ever week, find a reason to compliment your spouse publically or privately. Option 2: take up a hobby together.
6. MOTIVATE – encourage and be their cheerleader! Flirt. Eliminate guilt. Use ethical bribes  Motivate through love. Catch them doing something right. Suggested assignment: Think of something they are struggling with and think of 2 different things you can do to cheer them on. Remind them of their goal.
7. RADIATE – radiate the light of the gospel that is love, goodness and kindness. Keep the commandments. Focus on Jesus Christ. Suggested assignments: Bear your testimony of the Savior to your husband alone. (That makes a big difference to a priesthood holder.) Attend the temple regularly.
8. SUPPLICATE – pray twice daily together. Be specific in giving thanks to the Lord for your husband.

QUESTION TO PONDER: What is the one thing in your marriage you could change to make everything else easier or unnecessary?